Celebrating the Holidays

my cute trees
Originally uploaded by virtuallori.

I grew up in a family that celebrates Christmas but mostly is not religious in a traditional sense. For me as a kid, Christmas was all about family and trees and lights and food and helping the less fortunate and, okay, Santa and presents. Despite having a churchgoing Catholic slice of the family on my dad's side, my understanding of the Christmas story was pretty much limited to what was portrayed in The LIttle Drummer Boy. The lead-up to Christmas was all about the Peanuts and the Rankin/Bass specials, making lists for Santa and for things to get for family members, making almond crescent cookies, helping Mom make her beautiful homemade bows, and decorating the tree.

I don't recall any special traditions from Christmas Eve when I was very young, other than setting out the cookies and milk for Santa before going to bed, but as we got older we tried out a series of traditions. For a few years we would spend Christmas eve with my mom's friend Judy and her family, alternating between our house and theirs. It was about that time that I started going to church (tangent for another time), and we would go to the 7 p.m. carol service. By the time I hit college, Judy had remarried and moved away, I had stopped going to church, and Mom had moved into a new house and was in love with her gas grill, something we had never had before. Thus started the beloved tradition of grilling out steaks on Christmas Eve, never mind if it was snowing or sleeting or pitch dark. Mom always got the good steaks, too, and there were baked potatoes and green beans and lots and lots of almond crescents. That tradition lasted for quite a few years, and is one I adopted in my last few years in Hawaii, when Kevin was working for that artist and usually traveling on the holidays, leaving me on my own. I spent my last Christmas as a Hawaii resident in Las Vegas, having steaks with my cousins at Outback. After moving back to Ohio, I glommed on to my Mom's new tradition of going to her friend Sue's church (coincidentally at the end of the street Judy used to live on) for the carol service and coming back to Mom's for appetizers and coffee. This year, I decided that I wanted to have my Christmas Eve to myself, and I really enjoyed just relaxing with the Christmas lights on and candles lit, finishing up a couple of presents and the wrapping. I do wish I had remembered to get a steak, though.

Some families open presents on Christmas Eve, but our opening is always done on Christmas morning. Before we get to the presents, we have the stockings. Our stockings are always stuffed to the brim, each item individually swaddled in an overabundance of tissue paper and tape. There are always Rolos and TicTacs, and usually a new toothbrush and some kind of lotion or soap or other smelly thing. My sister always digs in looking for the Rolos, asking everyone if they've found their Rolos yet. I don't know what we'd do if Santa ever forgot to put Rolos in the stockings. There would likely be a revolt. I still have the green burlap stocking a neighbor made for me when I was a toddler, although it is now retired from service. One of the seams has ripped and most of the sequins and little felt figures have fallen off, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

Then begins the opening. We used to take turns opening one present at a time, but sometime in the last few years we've gone to the free-for-all model. Mom still has a thing for making sure my sister and I each have exactly the same number of presents. Not all that many years ago we would all sleep over at Mom's house the night before, and one of my joys as the family photographer was taking really rotten photos of unshowered, unprimped, pajama'd, not-quite-awake family members on Christmas morning. Call it my revenge for actually being a decent photographer and thus being cursed with having really rotten pictures taken of myself all year long by my less photographically capable family members. Family tradition used to be ham-and-cheese strata for Christmas breakfast, but somewhere along the line that shifted to really ooey-gooey French toast and sausage -- although Mom did make a concession this year and cooked some bacon for me.

Back in the day we would then proceed to my Grandma's house to do presents and a meal there, then to either Nana's or Aunt Donna's to do presents and dinner on that side of the family. Nana stopped hosting holidays when I was a teenager and has since died, and since Grandma died and Dad stopped coming to town for Christmas, we just head to Aunt Donna's. That is always a crazy, loud circus, and I love it. This year there were twenty-three of us. Almost all of my cousins are there, a handful of kids, some extended family and usually some family friends or neighbors. We have a huge meal and an abundance of desserts, then open presents there. When we cousins were little, everyone bought for everyone. Sometime in the 1980s we went to drawing names. Now that Nana and Papa are gone and Cousin Kurt is in Las Vegas, the majority of the people there are immediate family and exchange with each other anyway, so we've stopped formal exchange among the adults. I get something for my aunt and uncle and for Cousin Kim, and that's it.

Mom always asks me for a Christmas list, and this year I had a very tough time coming up with one. When I did, it ended up being mostly useful stuff: a wok, a plate rack, my conditioner . . . I just don't need a lot of stuff.

This is the first year I've had an artificial tree. Or, I should say, trees. We've always had a real tree, and it felt really strange to go with the fake ones, but I love them. They're so cute.

As I've grown older, my concept of the winter holidays has shifted. Although I do not consider myself a Christian in any but the very loosest cultural sense, I still celebrate Christmas. It's my tradition. Yet I also see Christmas as part of a larger tradition of light and solstice celebrations. Many religious and cultural celebrations at this time of year include symbols of light leading the way out of the darkness, a turning from dark days to hope of renewal. This is the time of year when we need merriment and twinkly lights and kindness to ourselves and others, to get through the short days around the solstice and out the other end to some hope of longer days, light, and spring (even though we still have to get through January and February and March to experience any hint of warmth, at least around here). I don't think it's a coincidence that so many (northern hemisphere) traditions have such celebrations at this time of year.

So, whichever of the holidays you celebrate, I hope that it is full of those things that make you happiest, whether that be family or solitude, food, generosity, beauty, meditation, presents galore, or endless viewings of A Christmas Story. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, joyful Kwanzaa, cool yule -- happy holidays to all.
- posted by Lori @ 9:45:00 PM | permanent link | |