Here is my mid-year resolution: I'm going to stop apologizing for sparse updates, at least for a while. My life has been upended by some personal turmoil, and thus this site has been bumped a bit lower on my priority list.

Kevin and I have split up after ten years together. This has -- understandably, I hope -- created plenty of emotional and practical havoc in Casa de Kozey-Kay. It is a (mostly) amicable separation. We are not fighting, blaming, or throwing things, but are trying very hard to be kind to and respectful of one another. We are both sad about it, but it comes down to us finally realizing and admitting that we want different things out of life, things that are not compromizable (if you'll allow me to make up a word here). It's much more fundamental than what color to paint the living room or whether we should get another cat to keep Boo company. It is not fixable without some earth-moving change on both of our parts, and that is not going to happen.

This whole thing is nobody's fault. I don't want to hear anyone bad-mouthing Kevin, because he is not a bad person and doesn't deserve it. Frankly, I'm surprised at how many people want to make a demon out of him, and tell me how ridiculous it is that we would want to remain friends, and ask me when I'm going to "kick him out." I've never been one to do things in the conventional way, and I'm not going to start now. As for the moving out bit, he will be moving out, but has to find a place first. This is not the easiest city in which to find a reasonable apartment in a short time, and he hasn't had much free time to look since they're short-handed at his job, besides the fact that he's been off-island for the last week.

It has taken me a while to get to the point where I can write about this. In the past couple of weeks, I've managed to gain some perspective, and can see in hindsight that it has been coming for a while. I just chose to not see it and remain optimistic. Is too much optimism a fatal flaw?

I'm taking the next couple of months to figure out what it is I want to do with myself. No rash decisions.
- posted by Lori @ 8:49:00 PM | permanent link | |